BLACKED

The heart is bruising, the chest is burning, the head is cracking open, and the body is seizuring. Trembling, stumbling, numbing.

The air is surprisingly bitter, my nose can taste it. It’s so cold it hurts. It penetrates into my bones. My bones are tremoring. Petrified.

All of the sudden, I lost a memory of touch, I lost a memory of sight, and I lost memory of smell. I can’t seem to find the feeling of velvety touch of life that I used to have, I can’t seem to picture my first memory, and I can’t found the scent of life.

I walk in the dark. Bouncing around the dimmed alley. It’s suffocating, the darkness. Disarm my ability to take precaution. I’m not aware of what’s there ahead. I keep on stumbling, I keep on falling

A single drop of water falls down on me. Strangely, it burns me. I’m blistering. In my head I’m thinking, I have to avoid the water, I have to run. Or so I think.

As I step my foot, the path turns into quicksand. Between that and the water that keep falling, I struggle to get loose. But I can't. It sucks me in, and the water burns me down. 

As I surrender, the sand sucks me deeper. Deeper and deeper as I fall into a pure dark surrounding.  I sit up. Try to figure out what just happened.

I see an orb, it’s an amber orb. Flies in a slow motion. Paint a pattern. The pattern reminds me of the Eye of Horus. It’s beautiful. In this pure darkness, for the first time I see something. I like to think that- that is a real thing.

 It flies around me, as it seduces me. Tells me to stand up and follow it. I concentrate, I try to collect my strength. But when I finally gain strength to stand on my feet, the orb disappears. The darkness returns. Blinded again.

I shout. I scream. Curious. Nothing comes out of my mouth. Not single sound. Frustrated, I shout out again, hope that someone would hear me. How could someone hear me when I cannot hear myself. I drenched in wine made of despair.

I can't see. I can't feel. I can't smell. Now I can't speak neither hear.

I feel estranged in my own head. I'm a stranger in my own thoughts.